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Check out new photos of Tokyo, Beijing, and Shanghai!
Xenith, a great lit mag, has published my short story, "Cover Letter for The Cabin"
In Other News. . .
January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
Last night I made sure everyone in Xinzheng, China recognized the new year (some know only the Lunar calendar). A friend and I went downtown on his moped to buy a thirty-pound box of fireworks. Imagine seeing the two Americans on a tiny scooter with a huge red box with fireworks sticking out!
We couldn't wait till midnight, so we immediately went on the roof of our building and put on a fireworks show for half the city. The sky brightened and screamed, the rockets exploding high above before raining pieces all over the roof. The fire department called campus security who called the receptionist of our building who called the foreign teacher manager who came up to the roof to tell us to stop, but by that time we'd set off everything. That's what I love about this place; everything takes so long that you can do whatever you want before someone stops you.
November 23, 2011
Apparently, it's been a little while. . .
Happy Thanksgiving! The foreign teachers get an "option" to hold or cancel class on Thursday. Seriously? As for me, I am "choosing" to play in a football game. A report of glory to follow.
Also, Jen and I are planning our trip for the winter break. My mom is coming out for part of the time, so I'll be showing what Xinzheng, Zhengzhou and the rest of Henan have to offer. Among other places, the plan is to go to Beijing. Then she'll fly home while Jen and I fly to Tokyo for a week in the land of the rising sun. After Japan, we're flying to Shanghai for Chinese New Year. I should have plenty of stories to tell after that!
Novemember 4, 2011
In one morning, I experienced both unbelievable Chinese traffic and unbelievable Chinese altruistic acts.
While busing through a podunk village on a one lane road, traffic completely stopped. My view out the window consisted of a man selling corn and several kids pointing and laughing at me.Two hours passed without the bus moving an inch.
Eventually, I had to go to the bathroom. A dozen bus riders, including several women, got off to search the village in vain, as public restrooms, or even restrooms in a restaurant, are rare in a big city, let alone a tiny village such as this.
The local kids followed us before one boy figured out we were looking for a bathroom. He ran into a building, and a few seconds later, an older woman appeared. She chirped something that I didn't understand while motioning for us to follow her. We climbed three flights of stairs up to her apartment.
In one of the strangest yet kindest acts I've ever witnessed, this lady let over a dozen perfect strangers use her bathroom inside her home. What's more, after each person finished, she gave them an apple before they headed out the door and back to the bus.
I was the last person to use the bathroom. When I was finished, the lady was out of apples but wouldn't let me leave before giving something. She scrounged up some crackers, raising them to her mouth and pretending to eat them in case I didn't know what crackers were for. After thanking her, I hurried back to the street to find that, after two hours of jammed traffic, in the two six minutes I was gone cars had begun to now flow smoothly. The bus: nowhere in sight.
Not knowing what else to do, I ran down the road in the same direction. A man on a motorcycle (a bicycle with a motor, really) drove up and, in broken English, grunted "come." So I hopped on and he sped about half a mile to where the road widened and the bus drove slowly in the right lane.
I didn't want to leave the village. I wanted to stay and be treated like this forever. But I climbed back onto the bus and back to reality, where, ten minutes later, traffic halted again.
October 18, 2011
We spent the weekend at Yuntai Mountain, a popular tourist spot in Henan. During our dailiy hikes, we spotted hundreds of natural waterfalls. One waterfall was 1,000 feet! An area of the mountain had wild monkeys jumping through the trees and running up to you. The tour guide told us to keep moving to be safe. I guess the monkeys are known to attack people. Imagine the tourist lawsuits in the States.
While having dinner one night, our tour guide bought my friends and I a half dozen bottles of baijiu. That's "fire-water" to the Chinese. I call it moonshine. At about 120 proof, it'll put hair on your chest real quick and your dinner in the toilet if you're not careful. Don't worry. I spent three months in Italy; grappa with 60% alcohol isn't any smoother.
October 7, 2011
I took a short vacation to Xi’an, a city home to the eighth wonder of the world: the terracotta warriors. Discovered in 1976, the clay soldiers have been guarding the tomb of an emperor for over two thousand years. There are over 6,000 excavated warriors, but archeologists estimate that thousands more are buried nearby.
As fun as the ancient sites were, I enjoyed the modern city much more. They sold the strangest things at a Chinese-Muslim market. Cow stomachs, hooves, and whole pigs hung in the air, the aroma twice as unpleasant as you might think. But I loved bartering with the salesmen over clothes and apparel. They’ll start at 300 RMB for a sweater, and I’d walk away paying 40. It made me wonder how many dumb tourists get ripped off each day.
Check out the picture section. You won’t believe how many people were in Xi’an for the national holiday.
September 26, 2011
Jen was sick for two weeks. I scrubbed my hands with soap, didn’t share cups, and did everything else to avoid catching her cold. After two weeks, I felt I was in the clear.
Then I felt something in my throat.
Wanting to nip it in the butt, I immediately went to the campus doctor. I pointed at my throat, she said something I didn’t understand, I pretended to sneeze, she said something I didn’t understand. Finally, I got a student to translate, and we went upstairs to get blood taken.
That’s right. my finger was poked with a Chinese needle—for the second time, mind you. Afterward, my finger bleeding down my hand and wrist, I asked the student where I could wash up. Translating the doctor’s response, the student said: “You must wait thirty minute before wash.” So I took my bloody hand to get some antibiotics and then a Coke.
I’m still sick, but at least hocking loogies is socially acceptable in public.
September, 24, 2011
It was an intense basketball game. . . And I played two years of NJB, for crying out loud.
I teamed up with my fellow foreign teachers against some swift-footed Chinese students, many of whom play on the Sias International University basketball team. There were referees, a scoreboard, an announcer, and about two hundred fans cheering.
We were punched in the mouth to begin the game. They passed the ball extremely well and were quick and seemed to be everywhere at once. But I soon enjoyed the game’s fast pace as my skills lend themselves to running fast breaks where I can beat the opposing big-men to the hoop for easy lay-ups. We pulled within four points by the half.
Then the cultural thing happened.
It was more than a basketball game. It was a battle of pride. Throughout the first half, the Chinese referees did their parts not to allow their country to lose to a motley crew American team. They blew the whistle without out touching a Chinese player, yet were silent when one of us was nearly decapitated at our basket.
I was on competitive overdrive. National pride was at stake! It was win or accept China’s rising global authority. . .
We lost by nine. Sorry.
But the foreign teachers are confident now that we’ve played together. Team chemistry will go a long way. We’ve started a team with jerseys and the whole ten feet. There’ll be plenty of games to come.
September 18, 2011
I got a Chinese haircut today. . . and it was the best haircut experience of my life.
"Best" is not a typo. For 8 RMB (roughly $1.25), a team of chic men shampooed, blow-dried, cut, conditioned with an amazing scalp massage, and styled my hair. And they did a damn fine job, pardon my Chinese.
A student accompanied me in order to translate. This proved to be unnecessary as the stylist understood how I wanted my hair without our having to speak the others' language. In fact, we communicated better through gestures and facial expressions than I’ve communicated in English with some American hairdressers, proving once again that sign language is the universal language. What’s more, it was nice to not have to make nervous small talk while a man massaged my scalp and neck.
September12th, 2011
Monday was the Mid Autumn Day Festival. In celebration of the full moon, the Chinese eat "moon-cakes," which are circular bread-like desserts. They are so dense that they often require a knife to get to the filling, usually consisting of fruit or sweet beans or nuts.
The Chinese seem divided on moon-cakes. Half of my students think they're too sweet while the other half brags about how they're the best dessert in the world (I doubt they've had real cheesecake). And me? I needed three cups of green tea to wash them down. Too sweet, too thick.
But that's not say I didn't enjoy the holiday. While Jen and I were busy not teaching, we ate bacon wrapped mushrooms and lamb skewers barbequed over an open flame, helping us feel a little more at home. We cracked bottles of Great Wall Cabernet and Tsingtao Lager with the meal. Luckily, I'd packed my Swiss army knife (purchased in Switzerland in 2008!), complete with corkscrew and bottle opener. The West meets the East for common cause of drink!
January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
Last night I made sure everyone in Xinzheng, China recognized the new year (some know only the Lunar calendar). A friend and I went downtown on his moped to buy a thirty-pound box of fireworks. Imagine seeing the two Americans on a tiny scooter with a huge red box with fireworks sticking out!
We couldn't wait till midnight, so we immediately went on the roof of our building and put on a fireworks show for half the city. The sky brightened and screamed, the rockets exploding high above before raining pieces all over the roof. The fire department called campus security who called the receptionist of our building who called the foreign teacher manager who came up to the roof to tell us to stop, but by that time we'd set off everything. That's what I love about this place; everything takes so long that you can do whatever you want before someone stops you.
November 23, 2011
Apparently, it's been a little while. . .
Happy Thanksgiving! The foreign teachers get an "option" to hold or cancel class on Thursday. Seriously? As for me, I am "choosing" to play in a football game. A report of glory to follow.
Also, Jen and I are planning our trip for the winter break. My mom is coming out for part of the time, so I'll be showing what Xinzheng, Zhengzhou and the rest of Henan have to offer. Among other places, the plan is to go to Beijing. Then she'll fly home while Jen and I fly to Tokyo for a week in the land of the rising sun. After Japan, we're flying to Shanghai for Chinese New Year. I should have plenty of stories to tell after that!
Novemember 4, 2011
In one morning, I experienced both unbelievable Chinese traffic and unbelievable Chinese altruistic acts.
While busing through a podunk village on a one lane road, traffic completely stopped. My view out the window consisted of a man selling corn and several kids pointing and laughing at me.Two hours passed without the bus moving an inch.
Eventually, I had to go to the bathroom. A dozen bus riders, including several women, got off to search the village in vain, as public restrooms, or even restrooms in a restaurant, are rare in a big city, let alone a tiny village such as this.
The local kids followed us before one boy figured out we were looking for a bathroom. He ran into a building, and a few seconds later, an older woman appeared. She chirped something that I didn't understand while motioning for us to follow her. We climbed three flights of stairs up to her apartment.
In one of the strangest yet kindest acts I've ever witnessed, this lady let over a dozen perfect strangers use her bathroom inside her home. What's more, after each person finished, she gave them an apple before they headed out the door and back to the bus.
I was the last person to use the bathroom. When I was finished, the lady was out of apples but wouldn't let me leave before giving something. She scrounged up some crackers, raising them to her mouth and pretending to eat them in case I didn't know what crackers were for. After thanking her, I hurried back to the street to find that, after two hours of jammed traffic, in the two six minutes I was gone cars had begun to now flow smoothly. The bus: nowhere in sight.
Not knowing what else to do, I ran down the road in the same direction. A man on a motorcycle (a bicycle with a motor, really) drove up and, in broken English, grunted "come." So I hopped on and he sped about half a mile to where the road widened and the bus drove slowly in the right lane.
I didn't want to leave the village. I wanted to stay and be treated like this forever. But I climbed back onto the bus and back to reality, where, ten minutes later, traffic halted again.
October 18, 2011
We spent the weekend at Yuntai Mountain, a popular tourist spot in Henan. During our dailiy hikes, we spotted hundreds of natural waterfalls. One waterfall was 1,000 feet! An area of the mountain had wild monkeys jumping through the trees and running up to you. The tour guide told us to keep moving to be safe. I guess the monkeys are known to attack people. Imagine the tourist lawsuits in the States.
While having dinner one night, our tour guide bought my friends and I a half dozen bottles of baijiu. That's "fire-water" to the Chinese. I call it moonshine. At about 120 proof, it'll put hair on your chest real quick and your dinner in the toilet if you're not careful. Don't worry. I spent three months in Italy; grappa with 60% alcohol isn't any smoother.
October 7, 2011
I took a short vacation to Xi’an, a city home to the eighth wonder of the world: the terracotta warriors. Discovered in 1976, the clay soldiers have been guarding the tomb of an emperor for over two thousand years. There are over 6,000 excavated warriors, but archeologists estimate that thousands more are buried nearby.
As fun as the ancient sites were, I enjoyed the modern city much more. They sold the strangest things at a Chinese-Muslim market. Cow stomachs, hooves, and whole pigs hung in the air, the aroma twice as unpleasant as you might think. But I loved bartering with the salesmen over clothes and apparel. They’ll start at 300 RMB for a sweater, and I’d walk away paying 40. It made me wonder how many dumb tourists get ripped off each day.
Check out the picture section. You won’t believe how many people were in Xi’an for the national holiday.
September 26, 2011
Jen was sick for two weeks. I scrubbed my hands with soap, didn’t share cups, and did everything else to avoid catching her cold. After two weeks, I felt I was in the clear.
Then I felt something in my throat.
Wanting to nip it in the butt, I immediately went to the campus doctor. I pointed at my throat, she said something I didn’t understand, I pretended to sneeze, she said something I didn’t understand. Finally, I got a student to translate, and we went upstairs to get blood taken.
That’s right. my finger was poked with a Chinese needle—for the second time, mind you. Afterward, my finger bleeding down my hand and wrist, I asked the student where I could wash up. Translating the doctor’s response, the student said: “You must wait thirty minute before wash.” So I took my bloody hand to get some antibiotics and then a Coke.
I’m still sick, but at least hocking loogies is socially acceptable in public.
September, 24, 2011
It was an intense basketball game. . . And I played two years of NJB, for crying out loud.
I teamed up with my fellow foreign teachers against some swift-footed Chinese students, many of whom play on the Sias International University basketball team. There were referees, a scoreboard, an announcer, and about two hundred fans cheering.
We were punched in the mouth to begin the game. They passed the ball extremely well and were quick and seemed to be everywhere at once. But I soon enjoyed the game’s fast pace as my skills lend themselves to running fast breaks where I can beat the opposing big-men to the hoop for easy lay-ups. We pulled within four points by the half.
Then the cultural thing happened.
It was more than a basketball game. It was a battle of pride. Throughout the first half, the Chinese referees did their parts not to allow their country to lose to a motley crew American team. They blew the whistle without out touching a Chinese player, yet were silent when one of us was nearly decapitated at our basket.
I was on competitive overdrive. National pride was at stake! It was win or accept China’s rising global authority. . .
We lost by nine. Sorry.
But the foreign teachers are confident now that we’ve played together. Team chemistry will go a long way. We’ve started a team with jerseys and the whole ten feet. There’ll be plenty of games to come.
September 18, 2011
I got a Chinese haircut today. . . and it was the best haircut experience of my life.
"Best" is not a typo. For 8 RMB (roughly $1.25), a team of chic men shampooed, blow-dried, cut, conditioned with an amazing scalp massage, and styled my hair. And they did a damn fine job, pardon my Chinese.
A student accompanied me in order to translate. This proved to be unnecessary as the stylist understood how I wanted my hair without our having to speak the others' language. In fact, we communicated better through gestures and facial expressions than I’ve communicated in English with some American hairdressers, proving once again that sign language is the universal language. What’s more, it was nice to not have to make nervous small talk while a man massaged my scalp and neck.
September12th, 2011
Monday was the Mid Autumn Day Festival. In celebration of the full moon, the Chinese eat "moon-cakes," which are circular bread-like desserts. They are so dense that they often require a knife to get to the filling, usually consisting of fruit or sweet beans or nuts.
The Chinese seem divided on moon-cakes. Half of my students think they're too sweet while the other half brags about how they're the best dessert in the world (I doubt they've had real cheesecake). And me? I needed three cups of green tea to wash them down. Too sweet, too thick.
But that's not say I didn't enjoy the holiday. While Jen and I were busy not teaching, we ate bacon wrapped mushrooms and lamb skewers barbequed over an open flame, helping us feel a little more at home. We cracked bottles of Great Wall Cabernet and Tsingtao Lager with the meal. Luckily, I'd packed my Swiss army knife (purchased in Switzerland in 2008!), complete with corkscrew and bottle opener. The West meets the East for common cause of drink!
